Inspired by the Subway footlong wager between Bill Simmons and Cousin Sal, Mark and I agreed to a War Across The Shore. The winner of our fantasy playoff matchup would get to smack the loser in the face with a Chipotle burrito. Plus, the winner earns an extra smack for each 5 points of victory margin. Well, thanks to 46.5 points by Brandon Marshall and 38.5 by Chris Johnson, Mark won the right to smack me 13 times with his 202.5 point total. Enjoy the video evidence.
Burrito Contents:
double-wrapped tortilla
cilantro-lime rice
pinto beans
barbacoa beef
mild salsa
cheese
and EXTRA sour cream
Don't look any further if you're trying to avoid Inception spoilers. Someone on deviantart put together this awesome graphic showing exactly what was going on during the multiple layers in the movie for those that were confused. See the image after the jump.
Six years ago, Dave Fymbo and I made a movie, which we starred in and shot ourselves. It's about time we released a sequel! So without further ado, here's Van Quattro 2!
You can find the trailer for Van Quattro 2 here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VytZMiJA9vk
And the original Van Quattro is here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_eNTASBee8
Since NBC no longer has an interest in Conan, TBS has bought Emmy ads for his Tonight Show run. The networks usually take out ads to get their shows nominated, and with NBC's severed ties with Conan, it's not surprising that they wouldn't buy ads for his show.
But, as the Variety article muses, it would be funny if Conan's show wins an Emmy while Jay Leno does not (NBC has bought ads for Leno).
Conan's departure deal with NBC prevented him from appearing on TV until May 1st. So 60 Minutes did an interview with him that they will air tomorrow, May 2nd, at 6pm Central on CBS. They've been leaking excerpts of the interview where Conan is getting to comment more directly on the situation around his departure, something he hasn't gotten to do much of. It's also rumored he will be talking about his deal with TBS, where he'll have a new show starting in November.
This is very cool...the new version of Bing Maps has added Worldwide Telescope. This was previewed in this very cool TED talk where one of the things they showed was dragging around in Bing Maps streetview. When they dragged to see more of the sky, the image darkened and stars and outlines of constellations became visible as in the picture below.
Now you can try it for yourself in the new version of Bing Maps. Towards the bottom of the page there's a button called "Map Apps" and clicking on it shows you a list of apps you can enable. If you turn on Worldwide Telescope, then go to streetview somewhere (it's somewhat limited on where you can do this), you can then drag the sky into view and the image will dim and reveal what constellations you can see at the present time. I can't wait to try it at night and see how well it works.
Yesterday, Microsoft demoed a telephone conversation where one person spoke in English and the other in German, and the computer translated to the opposite language so they could have a conversation. This is very cool, and accurate enough to have simple conversations. From the YouTube description:
What if your computer could transcribe and translate, in near real-time, a phone conversation you're having with someone speaking a language you don't understand? That's the promise of one prototype demonstrated by Microsoft researchers today during a preview of the company's annual TechFest event.
I just heard a different radio ad for Dos Equis' Most Interesting Man campaign, and this one was even more hilarious than the first. Some of the lines from it:
When it is raining, it is because he is sad.
Even his parrot's advice is insightful.
If there were an interesting gland, his would be larger than most men's entire lower intestines.
His shirts never wrinkle.
He is left-handed. And right-handed.
Even if he forgets to put postage on his mail, it gets there.
He once knew a call was a wrong number, even though the person on the other end wouldn't admit it.
You can see his charisma from space.
If you're unfamiliar with the campaign, check out this ad:
And some of the lines from the original ad:
The police often question him, just because they find him interesting.
He once punched a magician. That's right. You heard me.
When he orders a salad, he gets the dressing right there on top of the salad, where it belongs...where there is no turning back.
If a monument was built in his honor, Mt. Rushmore would close, due to poor attendance.
Posted Wed, Jul 18th, 2007
Update: (4/30/09) There's a new radio ad playing for Cinco de Mayo...here's all the lines I can remember from it (I may be paraphrasing some):
It is said the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long.
The Mayans prophecized his birth.
Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence.
He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish.
He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded.
Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him.
and one more ad that's been playing for a while but I had missed:
He once buried a time capsule full of things that haven't happened yet.
He has been pronounced dead 7 times...make that 8.
His bear hugs are actually hugs he gives to bears.
He can't be bought, but his beard clippings have been know to show up on auction.
He has never lost a sock.
If he disagrees with you, it is because you are wrong.
You can use the contact link at the top of the page to send me any additional lines and I will update this post accordingly.
Update 2: (6/22/2009) Heard another new one over the last few weeks:
Most songs about love are written for him, about him, or by him.
He'd never initiate a conversation about the weather, even in a typhoon.
He's against cruelty to animals, but isn't afraid to issue a stern warning.
Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would still be the right side.
He won the same lifetime achievement award twice.
Update 3: (3/23/2010) I just heard a new radio ad playing the last few weeks:
Signs that say "This is not an exit" do not apply to him.
If he rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.
If he passed you on the street you would still feel stopped and said hello and asked you about your day.
He likes the word "fog".
If you were trapped with him in an elevator, you wouldn't want to be saved.
His business card just says, "I'll call you."
Update 4: (4/29/2010) Here's another new radio ad:
The Aztec calendar has his birthday chiseled in.
The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans...because it was.
His tacos refuse to fall from the shell.
If you were to see him walking chihuahua, it would still look masculine.
Dicing onions doesn't make him cry...it only makes him stronger.
He has never filled up on chips.
Update 5: (6/16/2010) Here's another new radio ad:
He has served as best man for grooms he's never met.
He strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.
Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking.
He's never needed lip balm.
He went to a psychic once...to warn her.
Update 6: (7/30/2010) This one's a bit older, but I had missed it:
His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created For it.
Years ago, he built a city out of blocks. Today, over six hundred thousand people live and work there.
He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test.
Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear.
Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.
If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost, and you'd arrive at least five minutes early.
His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.
Earlier today I was reading an article on TVSquad called "Six Reasons Why '24' Has Jumped the You-Know-What" and I was thinking about how we just listed most of those points last week.
Well, for this week's episode they decided to out-do themselves. As if those previous points weren't enough, there were a bunch of unbelievable lapses in logic. Starting with the most obvious, Renee stabbed Jack in the gut. Stabbed. Quickly. Forcefully. As expected, Jack fell over. But seconds later, he is able to prop himself up and fling the knife, the one that was lodged in his stomach, into a guy's neck across the room. And then a couple of minutes after that, he puts a gauze pad on it, after which he is running around like nothing happened for the rest of the episode. Bullshit.
Next up, air surveillance. Ok, so they didn't see vehicles leave the building with Jack. Wouldn't it be obvious that they could not have gotten very far? They were on foot in a tunnel, so they couldn't have even gone half a mile to get in that SUV, which is still in the middle of a GIANT, DARK, EMPTY AREA with its bright headlights. Can't CTU's "aerial coverage", I don't know, ZOOM THE FUCK OUT to spot nearby vehicles? It's not rush hour in the middle of downtown.
Renee didn't get found in the closet. BS. Super lame.
Jack "knew" the guys that came in wouldn't shoot him. How did he know anything about them, aside from the fact they came to check on Vlad? They could easily have shot him before realizing he may have information.
Jack just runs out assuming CTU has arrived, without a gun or weapon. Since when did Jack become as stupid as the other CTU agents? The real Jack Bauer would never trust any situation. He'd sure as hell have a gun at all times.
And finally, the usual
Dana and the warehouse robbery. Don't care.
Hassan, his daughter and his assistant/lackey. Don't care.
White House and peace process. Don't care.
Which all leads me to my conclusion:
I'm going to stop watching this season of 24. Maybe I'll go back and watch the first 5 seasons, and simply pretend that the other seasons don't exist.
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