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Topics > Dumbass (49)


Dumbass Displaying all 49 stories for the Dumbass topic.


Don't lock your keys in your getaway vehicle

This story's hilarious...a guy was robbing a drug store and ended up locking his keys in his getaway vehicle. But it's even more ridiculous because he was using a caulking gun covered with a cloth as his weapon. What was he going to do...threaten to grout some tiles? And finally, while fleeing on foot...



Italian government posts everyone's salary online

It's gone now, but apparently the Italian government posted everyone's salaries online in an attempt at "transparency and democracy." Though it was actually due to other reasons. A privacy watchdog group had them take the site down within a few hours, but that's plenty of time for people to take a peek...



CNN.com is stupid

This has got to be some kind of April Fools joke gone wrong, since it's 20 days late and it's stupid. But CNN has started adding a T-shirt icon next to (only video?) headlines on their frontpage. Clicking on the link takes you to a page where you can buy a shirt with the headline on it that also...



Poster for new Burnout game banned by London authorities

This is remarkably stupid. Apparently after receiving 37 complaints about the following poster, it got banned from the London Tube: Those who complained thought the poster was offensive and likely to encourage violence, dangerous driving or vandalism. The ASA said the slogan, combined with...



Good luck travelling to the UK

If you're unlucky, your request for a visitor's visa to go to the UK may be denied because "you plan a holiday for no particular purpose other than sightseeing." Apparently there's been some pretty ridiculous reasons given for denied visas: [Some people were] turned down because they had never previously...



Robber gets robbed

kirat submitted a story about a mugger getting his own wallet stolen: After the 20-year-old stole the driver's wallet, a scuffle broke out between the two, in which the cabbie not only recovered his property but also took his attacker's wallet, police in the western town of Aldenhoven said Tuesday. The...



Big Brother Absurdity

kirat submitted a story from Fox News about how in the show Big Brother in Australia, producers are keeping the fact that one of the contestant's father died a secret from her. Hot houseguest Emma Cornell, a model from Adelaide, is unaware that her dad, Raymond Cornell, died earlier this month after...



Wedding party skips the bill

How funny would it be to see 30 people in a wedding party eat a bunch of food and then rush out the door without paying? That's what happened in an Austrian restaurant. The group, consisting of the newlyweds and about 30 guests, suddenly got up before dessert and left, Austrian broadcaster ORF reported....



Quote of the day

Here's today's quote of the day: "Obviously, we would urge people not to drive with burning grills in their vehicles." Here's the full story: A man suffered serious burns when his pickup exploded after a hot grill in the truck bed ignited a propane tank, authorities said. John Ferrell, 22,...



Drunken zamboni driving

As far as I know, you can get a DUI for riding a bicycle drunk. But apparently, at least in New Jersey, you can't get a DUI for driving a zamboni while drunk. A judge ruled the four-ton ice rink-grooming machines aren't motor vehicles because they aren't useable on highways and can't carry passengers....



An awful website launch

When you're about to debut a major website that you've spent a lot of time on, don't go spreading your website URL in your press releases if you don't own the domain. The UK Film Council-backed social networking and community website, myfilms, has run into a hitch after it emerged it cannot use the...



That's not punny

This is the 1st installment of the That's not punny series, which will be featured regularly - by which I mean whenever I find something ridiculous. Post any suggestions for future "not punny" stories in the comments. From here: This time it wasn’t Peter Pan whisking Wendy Darling away to Neverland....



Dane Cook sucks too

So I just posted recently about how Joe Rogan outed Carlos Mencia for stealing jokes. Apparently this audio clip has been going around for a while now. Dane Cook stole a bunch of jokes from Louis CK: I'm not surprised to see this now. I liked Dane Cook when he first broke out, but he quickly...



OJ is an idiot [Update]

What's the best thing to do if you get away with murder and want to become famous again? How about trying to cash in by writing a hypothetical scenario of how you "would have" committed the murder if you had done it? Yep, OJ is releasing a book called "If I Did It". In an account his publisher...



Double car-sanity!!

I came across two different stories that were so ridiculous I had to post them. But since neither is that long and they're related, I combined the posts. In the first story, a vehicle was considered suspicious because it was being driven around with a safe attached to it by a chain. Police got...



Man exchanges stolen pants that didn't fit

A man in China who stole some trousers returned to the store and exchanged them for another size. Department store assistants were surprised to find the trousers that had been stolen on Sunday when they took stock after the business hours on Monday evening - but another pair of trousers of another...



NBC10.com plays it cool, but really blows it

There's a story on NBC local news about a website that tells travelers where they can buy marijuana. The story says "NBC10.com won't name the site, but it offers a global guide to where and how people can get pot." Even in their photo slideshow, they again emphasize that they are not naming the site....



Waitress given her own ID when carding woman

There's a hilarious story on The Denver Channel about how a waitress was carding a woman ordering a drink, and was given her own ID. The waitress, a 22-year-old Lakewood, Ohio, woman, had reported her wallet stolen from a bar on July 9. Her driver's license and credit card were in the wallet. The...



FEMA will give you money, if you'd just ask!

dave submitted a story from boston.com about how FEMA paid millions of dollars in fake claims for assistance. Agents from the Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress, went undercover to expose the ease of receiving disaster expense checks from the Federal Emergency Management...



Stupid Survivor winners

What is with the winners of Survivor being idiots? First, Season One winner Richard Hatch somehow expected to get away with not paying taxes on his million dollar prize. He is facing jail time as a result (and for perjury about it). Now, Season Nine winner Chris Daugherty is in trouble with his employer...



Stupid lawyer sues restaurant for "junk faxes"

There's a law that was created a while back when companies would spam fax numbers with advertisements, causing annoyance, tying up the fax machine, and wasting toner. The law put harsh penalties on the practice - up to $1,500 per page received. Now, a lawyer is suing a sandwich shop manager for sending...



Kid thinks he's Van Wilder

dave submitted a story about a guy who won't finish college. Despite his 12 years as an undergraduate student, Johnny Lechner realized something was missing from his academic record: He'd never studied abroad. And so the 29-year-old perpetual student who was expected to finally graduate from the University...



Man eating cereal hits cop car

In local Tampa news, a man hit a cop car because he was distracted by his bowl of cereal. Pinellas County deputies say a man eating a bowl of cereal while driving accidently hit the back of a deputy's vehicle last Friday in Seminole. Lance Kocses faces charges for failing to yield the right of...



Google forced to remove special logo

Today, Google put up a logo celebrating the work of artist Joan Miro. The family of Joan Miro was upset by this and made Google take down the image, saying, "There are underlying copyrights to the works of Miro, and they are putting it up without having the rights." It's not like Google reproduced...



Judge has outburst over woman with too many dogs

dave submitted a ridiculous story about a frustrated judge in a case where a woman owned too many dogs. Earlier, Janet Lane had pleaded guilty to violating a Herriman ordinance that limits the number of dogs to two. Lane had eight, and as she stood before Judge Henriod for sentencing, she still had...



911 operator thinks child's call is joke; costs mother's life

dave submitted a story about how a 911 operator got a call from a 6-year-old and believed it to be a prank. That's what happened when six-year-old Robert Turner called 911 when his mom passed-out. The Detroit boy's mother, 46-year-old Sherrill Turner, died February 20th. Robert says he called the...



Weird cell phones and the idiots that own them

So yesterday on local news I heard that 2 Chicago guys accidentally called 911 while talking about an upcoming heist, letting 911 dispatchers listen in on their planning. So today I went to look for more details and found the article I linked above. However, when looking for "accidental 911 call," I...



H&R Block can't do (their own) taxes

dave submitted a Marketwatch article on a big-time H&R Block goof. Apparently H&R Block incorrectly calculated their taxes. If they can't do their own taxes right, what makes you think they won't mess up yours? Shares of H&R Block Inc., the company that helps millions of Americans complete tax returns,...



A family sues Benihana because a man gets a neck injury from dodging shrimp

dave submitted a CourtTV.com story about a family suing Benihana. A shrimp a hibachi chef tossed at a man eating at a Japanese steakhouse ultimately led to the diner's death, his family claims in a $10 million wrongful death lawsuit against the restaurant chain Benihana. Jerry Colaitis wrenched...



Missouri to have warm beer?

You read right. If a senator gets his way, the state of Missouri will not be allowed to sell beer colder than 60 degrees Fahrenheit (AP article). Why? Because of a 5th grader: A state senator wants to force Missouri stores to sell warm beer. Under a bill by Sen. Bill Alter, grocery and convenience...



Man tries to get diamond earrings appraised - at the jewelery store he stole them from

According to an AP article, a man stole diamond earrings donated for an auction, and valued at $4,600. Police said the man was arrested after he brought the $4,600 earrings to Wimmer's Jewelry at the West Acres mall. Store owner Brad Wimmer said the man had the original box along with the description...



2 Postal Workers caught stealing hundreds of Netflix DVDs

According to an NBC affiliate, 2 postal workers were caught after an undercover investigation into why hundreds of Netflix DVD's were going missing. During a two-month period last year, hundreds of DVDs intended for Netflix customers in Lyons, Colorado never arrived at their destinations. Investigators...



Guy robs casino, gets away, later struck by cops and killed

The Great Falls Tribune reports on a story about a guy who robbed a casino. A bicyclist suspected of robbing a Great Falls casino at gunpoint early Tuesday died minutes after the holdup when a squad car responding to the scene struck him. Robert Lawrence Thrash, 39, was pedaling west out of 7th...



Woman marrying man who shot her and held her hostage

According to 9news.com, a woman is marrying a man who shot her and kept her hostage for 6 days. Tina Marie Stebbins revealed her intentions in a letter released as her boyfriend, Christian Leroy Lindblad, was sentenced to 20 years in prison for shooting her in June 2002. In her victim impact statement,...



Teenager caught with counterfeit $20 bill

Vermont local news reports on a teenager getting caught for trying to pass off a $20 he photocopied. Reasons he got caught: the bill was too small, it was not cut straight, and it was evident that it was printed on printer paper. Adam P. Cole, 17, is due in Vermont District Court in Rutland on Monday...



Customers wouldn't leave burning store

According to the Baltimore affiliate of NBC, customers at a grocery store that was on fire refused to leave and tried to checkout while smoke filled the store. Fire investigators said the blaze at a Giant Food started in the paper products section and sent smoke wafting through the entire store, but...



Man sues Home Depot after sitting on glue-covered toilet seat

Hot on the heels of yesterday's story about a stupid almost-lawsuit is another - this time an actual lawsuit. Yahoo has a story about a man who fell for a prank at a Home Depot and got glued to a toilet seat. Now, he's suing Home Depot, for humiliating him by not responding to his cries for help, and...



Woman upset at her own stupidity

The Daytona Beach News-Journal has a story about a moron. ORMOND BEACH -- Publix has determined that a "bullet" found in a customer's pork loin was actually the casing from a meat thermometer, supermarket spokesman Dwaine Stevens said Tuesday. Publix Supermarkets made the finding after examining...



Pizza parlor burglar tries to cook himself a pizza - flees with dough

Yahoo's got a story about a guy who was burglarizing a pizza parlor at 2 in the morning. The suspect entered the restaurant about 2 a.m. and rummaged around for a cook's apron, trying on several until he found one that fit, then began preparing a pepperoni pizza with all the fixings, said sheriff's...



Stupid fan helps Bengals hold onto win

dave submitted a story (with a pic of the fool) on ESPN about a fan who ran out onto the field and disrupted the Bengals-Packers game yesterday. The Packers, trailing 21-14, reached the Bengals' 28 with 23 seconds left. Brett Favre took the ensuing snap, but whistles quickly blew after the fan came...



Budweiser "surprised" to find people using beer to play Bud Pong

dave submitted an article in the Washington Post about how Budweiser was shocked to discover that people were playing their promotional "Bud Pong" with beer, rather than water as instructed. In related news, the sky is blue and Budweiser representatives were again surprised, this time when told that...



Police officer spots his stolen motorcycle in pickup

ABC has a blurb about an officer encoutering his stolen (and not a police) motorcyle. Police officer Jeremiah Motz says he was shocked – to see his stolen motorcycle in the back of a pickup. The bike was stolen the day before from his apartment complex in Greenville, South Carolina. Early Saturday...



Carjacker who can't jack a car

ABCnews has a story about a carjacker in Kansas City who, wielding a shotgun, forced a 26-year old man out of his Camaro. He then got in to drive it off, but didn't know how to drive stick. The carjacker ended up escaping in a different car.



Moronic Fugitive

A Wisconsin paper has a story about a guy who, while being transferred from Brown County to Milwaukee Secure Detention got away when the van stopped at a rest stop. "Bonilla is a convicted felon, having been found guilty of robbery and theft in Milwaukee County. Bonilla was handcuffed and without shoes...



Man goes to pay public intoxication fine while drunk

According to a Knoxville local news station article, a man went to the county courthouse to pay his fine for public intoxication. Turns out he was drunk, and ended up passing out while waiting in his seat. To make things even more interesting, he had brought his pet scorpion with him. Apparently while...



FOX News contributor screws family over

There's an article over at boingboing.net about a FOX News contributor giving out a family's address on-air and claiming they were terrorists responsible for the July 7th London attacks: "Fox News nutbag contributor and former US prosecutor John Loftus read the address of a 'terrorist' residence in...



The Worst Person in Baseball

dave submitted the following ESPN article: 'Milk does a body good, but it didn't do good for one batboy. On a $500 dare, a Florida Marlins batboy tried to drink a gallon of milk in under an hour without throwing up. But not only did the batboy not succeed in the challenge (exceeded time, but didn't...



Man goes bananas over Forrest Gump, about 11 years too late

Yahoo's got an article about a guy that is going on a "Gump" run across the U.S. Inspired by the movie "Forrest Gump," a U.S. man is running across the United States from Newport Beach, California to Newport, Rhode Island. The 26-year-old from Connecticut notes on his Web site that he's not the first...



Guy from Texas visiting every Starbucks

Yahoo's got an article about this guy from Texas who is trying to have a coffee at every Starbucks in the world. He started in 1997 and has since hit up nearly 5,000 of the 5,700 or so current locations. A Nebraska attorney found out about his goal, and is making a documentary about it. Great quote:...