Update: (4/30/09) There's a new radio ad playing for Cinco de Mayo...here's all the lines I can remember from it (I may be paraphrasing some):

It is said the sun comes up later on the 6th of May, in case his Cinco parties run long.
The Mayans prophecized his birth.
Even lucha libres remove their masks in his presence.
He once taught a German Shepard to bark in Spanish.
He serves sizzling fajita platters barehanded.
Bulls flat-out refuse to fight him.

and one more ad that's been playing for a while but I had missed:

He once buried a time capsule full of things that haven't happened yet.
He has been pronounced dead 7 times...make that 8.
His bear hugs are actually hugs he gives to bears.
He can't be bought, but his beard clippings have been know to show up on auction.
He has never lost a sock.
If he disagrees with you, it is because you are wrong.

You can use the contact link at the top of the page to send me any additional lines and I will update this post accordingly.

Update 2: (6/22/2009) Heard another new one over the last few weeks:

Most songs about love are written for him, about him, or by him.
He'd never initiate a conversation about the weather, even in a typhoon.
He's against cruelty to animals, but isn't afraid to issue a stern warning.
Whatever side of the tracks he's currently on is the right side. If he crossed them, he would still be the right side.
He won the same lifetime achievement award twice.

Update 3: (3/23/2010) I just heard a new radio ad playing the last few weeks:

Signs that say "This is not an exit" do not apply to him.
If he rides with you in your car, its resale value will instantly increase.
If he passed you on the street you would still feel stopped and said hello and asked you about your day.
He likes the word "fog".
If you were trapped with him in an elevator, you wouldn't want to be saved.
His business card just says, "I'll call you."

Update 4: (4/29/2010) Here's another new radio ad:

The Aztec calendar has his birthday chiseled in.
The front of his house looks like it was built by the Mayans...because it was.
His tacos refuse to fall from the shell.
If you were to see him walking chihuahua, it would still look masculine.
Dicing onions doesn't make him cry...it only makes him stronger.
He has never filled up on chips.

Update 5: (6/16/2010) Here's another new radio ad:

He has served as best man for grooms he's never met.
He strongly abides by the motto: "Safety third."
His garden maze is responsible for more missing persons than the Bermuda Triangle.
Even watching him sleep has been described as breathtaking.
He's never needed lip balm.
He went to a psychic once...to warn her.

Update 6: (7/30/2010) This one's a bit older, but I had missed it:

His charm is so contagious, vaccines have been created For it.
Years ago, he built a city out of blocks. Today, over six hundred thousand people live and work there.
He is the only man to ever ace a Rorschach test.
Every time he goes for a swim, dolphins appear.
Alien abductors have asked him to probe them.
If he were to give you directions, you'd never get lost, and you'd arrive at least five minutes early.
His legend precedes him, the way lightning precedes thunder.

Update 7: (7/3/2011) This one's been on quite a bit recently:

When he holds a shell up to his hear, he hears adult contemporary hits from the '90s.
His monkey business is the official business he carries on with primates.
The dinner he made last night was delicious. Ask anyone.
He finds squirrels untrustworthy.
If he were to say, "it's not you, it's me" he would be lying.
He figure skates, and it is glorious.