I'm really eager to see The Fountain, but there's one movie coming out in 2006 that completely blows me away. This movie is going to redefine cinema as we know it. This movie is going to be the most important film of the 21st century. This movie is about snakes. This movie is about planes. This movie is about what happens when one is on the other.That is one hell of a preview. How could I not see it?
This movie is Snakes on a Plane.
As you can tell, this movie is about snakes on a plane. There are other elements to the plot, like an assassin trying to eliminate a witness in protective custody, but this is all secondary to the main point of the film: snakes that are on a plane. Or, conversely, a plane that has snakes on it. Either way, we know what we're getting: some sort of snake/plane combination, with action-packed results.
As if this wasn't amazing enough, we also have a stellar cast, led by one of the greatest thespians of our time: Samuel L. Jackson. This man needs no introduction. He's been in every movie ever made. He's made shouting into an art. I'm not sure exactly what he's going to do in this movie, but I can tell you this: Samuel L. Jackson doesn't take crap from anybody. Especially snakes. Especially when they're on his goddamn plane.
In case that's not enough for you, the cast is also rounded out by Kenan Thompson, who many of you may know from the Nickelodeon show "Kenan and Kel." I've actually seen a screenshot from Snakes on a Plane with Kenan in it, and suffice it to say, there are snakes on him. And he's not very happy about it. Unfortunately, it doesn't look like Kel is going to be in this movie, which is a shame, since it could've resulted in some pretty awesome lines ("Who loves orange soda? Kel loves orange soda! BUT NOT SNAKES"). Then again, can he really top his Oscar-worthy performance in Good Burger? Of course, there have been efforts to derail this movie, including efforts to change the title to something much less awesome, such as Pacific Air 121. Who the hell would want to see a movie called Pacific Air 121? It doesn't mention snakes at all.
Luckily, Samuel L. Jackson protested, explaining that the title was the only reason he took the job. I can't blame him; Snakes on a Plane is perhaps the greatest movie title since Leprechaun in the Hood. The title lays out exactly what you're getting: There's a plane and there are snakes on it. As Jackson himself puts it, "You either want to see that, or you don't."
Whether or not Snakes on a Plane receives critical acclaim on the level of Brokeback Mountain is a moot point. Brokeback Mountain may have gay cowboys, but Snakes on a Plane has snakes. And a plane. It's such a natural combination; I can't help but wonder if the Wright Brothers had snakes in mind from the start. Regardless of their intentions, it has become obvious to me that planes were meant for snakes, and vice versa. Think of it like Romeo and Juliet, but with reptiles and aircraft.