This rant is the 4th installment of the Rant On... series, which will be featured regularly - by which I mean whenever I feel like ranting. Post any suggestions for future rants in the comments.This morning, an alarm clock snafu made me wake up late. I was instantly reminded of a Seinfeld episode, and an exchange between Jerry and Jean-Paul:
Jerry: (pause) So what happened? The snooze alarm, wasn't it?
Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn't the snooze. Most people think it was the snooze, but no, no snooze.
Jean-Paul: Man, it wasn't the AM/PM. It was the volume.
Jerry: Ah...the volume.
Jean-Paul: Yes, the volume. There was a separate knob for the radio alarm.
Jerry: Ah, separate knob.
Jean-Paul: Yes, separate knob. Why separate knob?! Why separate knob?! (frustrated)
Jerry: Some people like to have the radio alarm a little louder than the radio.
Jean-Paul: Oh, please, man, please!
Why do alarm clocks have so many stupid quirks and points of failure? In order to set it, you have to enter the time for the alarm. This alone can sometimes be a challenge. Some clocks wear down quickly and it becomes difficult to hold the button down so it stays on the alarm time while you're setting it. Even better, I had a clock where if you weren't on the alarm, hitting the hour button would actually increment the clock hour. So if I didn't jam (and hold) my thumb down hard enough on the "alarm set" button, I'd start changing the current time. Once you finally do that, you have to make sure to slide the switch to turn on the alarm, or you set it in vain. The clocks where the alarm automatically turns on because you're changing the alarm time are nice. And don't forget to adjust that volume! It's kind of useless for an alarm to go off with no audible sound. I have never seen a Seinfeld clock with 2 volume knobs, but it sounds like more potential for disaster. And someone needs to put together some kind of snooze standard. Everytime I get a new clock it's a toss-up. Will it snooze 5 minutes? 10 minutes? A day and a half?
Next time I'm getting a wake-up call.