This rant is the 12th installment of the Rant On... series, which will be featured regularly - by which I mean whenever I feel like ranting. Post any suggestions for future rants in the comments.This rant is a little different than the rest of the series. Here's some ads that don't make any sense (with my reactions in italics):
See American Gangster as you've never seen it before!
- Considering I haven't seen it yet, you could show me just about anything with a label that says "American Gangster" on it, and that'd be true.
Think pets don't get fleas in the winter time?
- No, I don't think that. In fact, they probably do.
- Wait, so they don't? I guess I don't need your product. Oh yeah, I don't have any pets anyways. *changes channel*
From the NetZero TV commercial: All internet providers take you to the same internet, so why pay more to get there?
Hmm, where to begin...I can get to work by bike or buy car in the morning, so why pay more for the car? Oh yeah, BECAUSE IT'S 10 BILLION TIMES FASTER. Seriously, who thought that line was clever? They should be forced to use a 56k modem for life.
Why is it called the greatest car in the world?
- Because you keep calling it that? Because your ad guys are lazy at coming up with taglines? Because your definitions of "greatest," "car" and "world" don't match anyone else's? Because you're being facetious? Because you paid someone to call it that? (Note: Credit goes to dave for coming up with some of these)
The DVD has an additional 30 minutes of unseen footage...
- Wow, they're really willing to take a big gamble on that footage. If it were me I'd make sure I knew what I put on my DVD rather than putting some footage nobody's seen on there. Hell, if nobody's seen it, it may not even be footage from the same movie.
And of course, Mitch Hedberg had a great joke that fits in this post nicely:
I saw a commercial on late night TV...It said, "Forget everything you know about slipcovers." So I did. And it was a load off my mind. Then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn't know what the hell they were.